Tonight, I will gather with a group of women from church. We will sit – this evening on Zoom – together for a time, and read a short essay, and reflect on it together.
My chosen piece is from Kate Bowler and Jessica Ritchie’s wonderful little book, Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. I’m sure I have told you before about this book, but at risk of repeating myself, let me say so again: it is terrific. No piece more than a few pages long, always ending with a blessing, and a “good enough step.” It’s tailor made for practical minds like mine, that want a: so what? What do I do next? to accompany any good or new ideas.
Tonight, we will talk about their essay “Loving What Is.” I was looking for something that might capture some of the particular energies of this week, with Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and all things love on the brain.
And I found it, in this brief little essay. It challenges us to love what is right in front of us, instead of succumbing to society’s narrative that the best is always yet to come. Because, simply put, it might not be. We might have more life behind us than ahead. Some of our most precious experiences might be memories for us, not hopes for what could be. And that’s ok.
But let’s be honest about it. And instead of looking forward or backward, love what is in front of us.
The imperfect, often-overlooked details of every day. The people we actually have alongside us, not the ones we wish we did.
It’s pretty counter to the aspirational, over the top, high romance of Valentine’s Day. But actually, it’s a lot more enduring and attainable and no less important.
To love what is.
To love the companions we have: the friends, the siblings, the neighbors, even the companion animals! The church community. The coworkers. The spouse or partner who leaves the dirty dishes in the sink.
To love our bodies, even with their scars and extra pounds and gray hairs. To love our families, even the people in them who drive us the craziest.
You’ll notice that this is a word for single people and partnered ones on Valentine’s Day.
A word for young marrieds and widows and widowers alike.
A word for the young, the old, the middle-aged.
A word for all of us.
If we pause to be here, to look around at what God has blessed us with, we just mind find ourselves loving what is, instead of what could be. We can still dream, of course, and wish and plan and look back and reminisce. But not at the expense of seeing what’s good and in front of us right now.
That is my prayer for you this Valentine’s Day, and indeed always.
-Pastor Jen
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